Just Me

I thought I would melt…and almost did. It was brutal out there. We start at 8 and it was obnoxious at that hour. By noon, forgeddaboutit!!!

So, did I play better than Monday? Well…yes and no. Did I score better? Nope…scored the same. I;m not saying that’s a good thing…but poop happens. By the last hole, however, I was done!! I was so hot, Ijust didn’t care any longer.

I have some issues I have to work out (again) like screwing up a wonderful drive with a moronic second shot. Like keeping my big head down until after I hit the ball instead of looking up to watch my bad shot! You know, little thing that can really mess you up. I was doing so well with these issues and they cropped up again out of nowhere. I wish they’d go back to nowhere.

Anyway…so I’m finished for the week. Actually, I[‘m getting a cold so it’s just as well. Next opportunity to excel is Monday again. I’m playing 4 days next week so I should sweat off about 10 pounds…like that might happen…NOT!!

LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant “You looked up,” or invoke the wrath of the universe.

My poor, beloved Mets have dropped 1/2 game behind the Phillies. Of course, the Phillies played the Nats who are so far in the bottom, it’s sad. But, the Mets have lost a couple as well…so it’s back to climbing up again. I have faith!

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After laying off for a week, I finally played today. There were just two of us so we played 18 in about 3 1/2 hours. That always makes it nice,

Unfortunately, as a twosome, you play a lot faster than a foursome. The first foursome, a group of ladies, let us play through on the second hole. We lost them.  It’s easier when you only have to look for two balls rather than four

So we’re tooling along until we get to hole #6, which is a par 3. There was a foursome of men. Do you think they let us play through? There was no one in front of them and they were S-L-O-W!!!! But, their testosterone wouldn’t allow for letting two women play through. At each hole, we had to wait for them. They saw us stalking them. We would hit, and drive up to our balls and watch them. This is what men do…but would expect us, were the situation reversed, to let them play through. In fact, one of them had the gall the thank me for being so patient. I wanted to bean him with my club! We had no choice…although we tried to make it as uncomfortable for them as we could.

I decided today, that won’t happen again. No men will be allowed to play through. They can just let their sorry butts wait until our foursome is finished.

Anyway, I didn’t play too great. I started off good with a bogey on the first hole. I can’t remember when I did that last. I’ve been getting 6s and 7s, so I was happy with a good start.

I also spent a lot of time at the beach (for the uninformed, that’s a bunker). I did get a lot of practice getting out.

I also decided to bite the bullet and try to use my lob wedge (60 degree) in places other than in the sand. For short chip shots, it should be the go-to club, but outside the bunker, I don’t have the same confidence with it…so I forced myself to use it. I didn’t do terrible hitting with it…I just have to get more comfortable with it. It will come in time.

Now I’m thinking about getting a gap wedge…probably a 52 degree. I’ll have to try one out and see how it feels…then I’ll decide what to do.

Wednesday is another opportunity to excel, so we’ll see. There’s a 30% chance of rain….but probably not here. We mostly miss it…so if it does rain, hopefully it’ll be after we finish.

LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.

How about those METS!! They’ve finally gotten out of their doldrums and have started winning. They’re a game in front of Philadelphia. Altlant (hehehe) is 7.5 games out (YIPEE). I’m a happy camper LET’S GO METS!!!!

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I started golfing Monday after 4 miserable days nursing my sciatica. I had it under control but it’s been going nuts for the past week now.

So, I go out knowing my leg will feel better once I get out on the soft grass…and it does most of the time.

It was brutally hot…I had 2 bottles of water and gatorade, as I always do. Well around the 14th hole, I started really feeling weak. I finished 14 and when I got to the 15th tee, I could barely raise the club. I tried (and I use that term generously) to tee off but I felt my arms were very weak and all of a sudden, all of the energy was sucked right out of me.

I picked up my ball, after hitting it about 10 feel, and rode for the last 4 holes. I felt  awful and felt that way for the remainder of the day. I had absolutely no energy and sat around like a lump because I didn’t have the uumph to even get up to move around. Everything was an effort.

So, when I got home, I cancelled out of the two tournaments I was playing in Tuesday and Wednesday and have been trying to relax, rehydrate and stay cool. Now sure if I’ll play Friday or not…we’ll see tomorrow.

So that’s my tale of woe. Hopefully, this has passed and I’ll be fine. It’s never happened before, so it was a bit scary.

LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.

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Today was the real deal. My partner and I went out, armed with goodies, hopes and lots of little dots on our scorecards

We started on hole #3, which is a very long par 5 but a very doable par or even birdie. Of course, we got neither, but it was our first hole. On to the #1 handicap hole on the course. Now, we’re still half asleep, are not really warmed up or into the game…a couple of double bogeys isn’t get but OK for that hole.

Then we start to cook…we ended up with an 86 gross and 60 net…and won low net in our flight. I ended the round with 3 straight pars – 18, 1 and 2. I can’t remember the last time I parred the first hole. It’s the #3 handicap and it reeally doesn’t seem that hard, but I always get a case of the stupids when I get to it. I didn’t today, though

All in all it was a lovely day, hot, of course, but a couple of husbands drove around the course with cold water, ice and cold, wet towels to put around your neck. The sun was shining and it was a grand day to be on the golf course.

I’m finished until next week when I hjave another 4 days of golf…3 of which are tournaments. I get tired thinking about it…but I love this game and it’[s even better when you’re doing well….

LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.

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Today they lived up to their name. Everyone was very pleasant and played nice. We played with two wonderful women who were very gracious and fun to play with. Again, they should have beaten us because their handicaps were so much lower…but we persevered, winning 10-8.

Did I play well? Not only no, but hell no!! I managed to eke out another 100, but it was by pure dumb luck. Having a couple of pars really does help. One hole, a damn par 3, we conceded the hole and both my partner and I put two balls in the schmutz! One of their gals was on the green in 1, so it was a no-brainer that we weren’t going to have a chance, so why bother.

My partner played very well. She didn’t have a long drive, but was fairly consistently straight down the fairway. Her putting was right on…and since I’m such a wonderful putter…NOT, she saved us on many a hole.

It was another hot, Ju;y day and it was a tad steamy, but it was a nice day. Of course, I’m pooped and have to do it again tomorrow…so, we’ll see.

Today we start the 20 laws of golf:

LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summmer and, eventually, a lifetime.

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Played a practice round for our member guest today. We couldn’t get off early because the nine hole ladies played today because they can’t play on the Wednesday league day because of the member/guest.

So…it was hot! And, it was humid! And it was cart path only because we had rain last night! And I couldn’t get a handicap flag (which I need more when it’s cart path only than when it’s not), so we were off to a rousing start.

I had a lesson yesterday because I’ve been hitting way too far behind the ball and taking the divot is supposed to happen after you hit the ball, not before. Well, that lesson fixed me right up. Most of my shots (I chunked a few…it’s what I do) went flying, I got good distance because I didn’t take any major divots except one and I took that after I hit the ball so it was OK.

I didn’t break 100 but got it right on the money. I wasn’t unhappy with that.

So we’re ready for the member/guest, both my guest and my friend’s guest are familiar with the course, so it should be a fun day.

Tomorrow, it’s another tournament in the (un) Friendly League! I don’t want to play, but I am so someone doesn’t have to play alone. It’s match play and having a partner is most important. Also, that’s not fair to that person who has no one to partner with….but it should be my last!

Like life, one’s golf game is made up by a series of absolute changes which are: Sudden Collapse, Radical Change, Complete Frustration, Slow Improvement, Brief Mastery, and Sudden Collapse.

On the Mets – won another last night. It’s the All-Star break, so hopefully they won’t lose their momentum the Thursday after. They shouldn’t but it’s a psychological thing the stupid sportscasters make a big deal of, so it’s embedded in the minds of all the players….we shall see!!

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We had my favorite tournament today and there was a bit of controvversy to go with it. A couple of ladies (and it was only 2) decided that hitting from the blues was too far and made them change the ladies to play from the reds, whites and golds.The gold tees are for men over 75 who can no longer hit from the whites and don’t want to hit from the reds (because that’s where the ladies hit from).
 
I was ready to take my clubs and go home. I signed up to play in the red, white and blue tournment, not the red, white and gold tournament. Well, the other ladies also wanted to play from the blues. I kabashed that quickly (as the New Yorker with the mouth) and we played as planned. One of the a**hole men made the arbitrary decision about the golds without telling anyone…and waiting until today to do it. Wrong!!
 
I plan on writing a letter to the club manager with copies to the head pro and chairman of our golf committee. The only thing they didn’t do that they’ve done in the past was give the ladies 110% of their handicap. That levels the field since we’re moving back (whites and blues are further away) and the men are moving up (to the reds, which are closer) and we were in the same flight with men of our handicap.
 
So, my name is mud with these two ladies…and I could give a fat rat’s a**. If they can’t hit from the blues, don’t sign up for the tournament…but don’t try to ruin it for everyone else because you’re a pansy-a**.

I did very well on the back nine, but played stupid on the front so I blew any chance I had of contending. But, I had a wonderful time…played with great ladies (we got to choose who we played with in this one…most times, the pro shop pairs folks), it was a beautiful hot, although ugly humid day, so I have nothing to complain about other than them trying to screw with the tournament.

I guess these ladies expected me to roll over and play dead when they decided they wanted to play from the golds, regardless of what the other ladies wanted. Let them form their own red, white and gold tournament, but don’t screw with ours!

Anyway, so this is mud signing off for now

Some useful reminders to use when playing golf is that when another foursome is on the green, please remember that “Fore!” is not an excuse, “So what?” is not an apology, and “Up yours” is not an explanation.

And on another note…the Mets are smokin’!! They’ve won 8 in a row and are only 1/2 game out of first place behind the Phillies and the Braves (not one of my favorite teams) are 7 games out

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But it did nothing for the humidity. It was pretty hot, even with the cloud cover and rains…a fair amount but not enough to stop us.

Every Wednesday is a mini-tournament. Today’s tended to be a tad confusing…doing the scoring. You still had to play golf the regular way. Using handicaps, you took the one best score of the foursome for each of the odd numbered holes and the best two scores combined of the foursome for the even numbered holes. You do the math…plus keeping the regular score.

I didn’t play very well…had trouble focusing and couldn’t putt to save myself! I think I need to get another eyeball screwdriver…the one I have (shown in the picture last month) just isn’t doing the trick. And I had to play on my greens which were not lightning fast like the greens yesterday and I was one messed-up golfer. I had a couple of decent putts that came close but I did many more stupid things.

Also, I was tired today. I just couldn’t keep my focus. The rain didn’t help. I pulled my rain jacket out of the car because it was raining when we first got to the club. Before we were ready to play, it had stopped.

I watched the radar before I left the house…there was one cell that was passing through and another that looked to be going south of us…and nothing but clear after that. Well, either more sprung up after I left or they didjn’t show enough of the whole picture. We got to our 3rd hole (we started today on 13) and it started to rain in earnest. Of course, in my wonderful wisdom, I put my rain jacket back in the car because the rain I thought was the end had passed. Wrong!! When we pulled back by the club on the way to the first hole, I grabbed it, but by then I was so hot and sticky, I never put it on.

It rained on and off until we finished…then of course it stopped.

Did it affect my game?? I could lie and say it did, but it didn’t. I just played terribly. I was sloppy and peeked too many times. I’ll get it back because Saturday is my favorite tournament so I’ll be up and ready for that.

On a baseball note…the Mets won again…2 games above .500. Hope springs eternal!!

Don’t buy a putter until you’ve had a chance to throw it.

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YIPEE!!! I didn’t have a spectacular day, but I did break 100, I did have a wonderful birdie on a very, very long (454 yards) par 5, and I played with 3 lovely ladies. Yes…I had a grand time!!

The course is another that is a lot harder than my home course, so it make me happy when I do good on those. This is a very fun event. Several clubs participate and the teams are all mixed together (by handicap) with the members of the foursomes from different clubs. Everyone plays their own ball and, with handicaps, the best two scores are recorded. We actually came in fourth (we thought we’d done better since 3 of us broke 100) which wasn’t too bad.

This is a lovely course – a very old, established club with lots of mature trees, wonderfully plush fairways and very fast but consistent greens.

If you’ve read these missives before, you’ll know that putting is not my strong suit. These greens are so fast that my normal wussy putts were either going in or getting close on many of the holes. I only left a few short…which for me is a minor miracle.

It was very hot (it’s almost 5pm and the temp just dropped below 90 (it’s 89). It was also very humid….but the weekend promises to be less humid…we can only hope!

So all in all, it was a lovely day, lovely lunch, got a prize for coming in 4th…so nothing to complain about

I think I’ve finally figured the game out: if it goes right, it’s a “slice.” If it goes left, it’s a “hook.” And if it goes straight, it’s a miracle!

Oh yeah…the Mets won last night…they’re over .500 which makes me happy and if they can keep winning…they might have a chance since they’re only 2 1/2 games out of first place. Of course, they gave up 9 runs…at one point last night, they were winning 8-0 and ended up winning 10-9. That is not good….so we’ll see.

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I had another shot in my back last week…kind of an insurance policy against the pain returning. I’d forgotten how badly it kicks my butt. I had absolutely no energy to even hit the ball today. I crashed on the front nine, but then, I guess because i couldn’t hit too hard, the balls straightened out and I didn’t do too badly. I ended up with a better score than I deserved…but I’ll take them any way I can get them.

It was hot and it felt a whole lot hotter than the temperature really is, bhut the hunidity is back with a vengence….or maybe it was because I was so weak, it felt more humid. Hard to tell any longer…

Nothing special to write about though. I didn;t have any miraculous putts or phenomenal drives. I just played stupidly and weakly. I had in my mind a great day, consistent shots and a great score. Maybe next time….

In fact, today was such an unspectacular day, I’m going to stop writing now

And to add insult to injury, the Mets are back to 500, but that won’t last long. I miss Willie!!

When I start out on the first tee, I feel like Tiger Woods. But after nine holes I feel more like Winnie the Pooh.

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